"They say, 'He's in a better place now.'
In Loving Memory of
August 6, 1982--April 4, 2003
"The power of Margo's book lies in her honesty, both with the readers and with herself, and in her wonderful, down-to-earth sense of humor.
Out of her grief from a series of devastating losses, she has managed to emerge not only whole, but strong, creative, and very funny. She writes about her impatience with the sometimes clueless people around her, as well as her dedication in continuing to work through a long and deeply painful healing process.
Her commitment to her surviving sons is deep and beautiful, and without a doubt her focus on them has helped them come to grips with the deaths of their father and brother. Her observations about what helped her and what tripped her up will remain with readers and help us to be a little more sensitive to the survivors in our lives. Nothing theoretical here--Margo has lived this and speaks her truth."
-Laura Merlo, Eagle Eye Editing
Welcome to my world. A club no one wants to join? Of course not! We all have been thrown into this not so wonderful world of child loss against our will. There are no road maps or guidelines through this abysmal maze of child loss; we learn how to navigate by trial and error, by hearing the
stories of others who have travelled down this road before us. I made so many mistakes, and if I only knew then what I know now! Even though we all have to find our own way of grieving and coping, the connections and support of others can be vital. Survival is the name of the game, and connection can be our salvation. We need each other.
I stand before you not as a professional or a public speaker, but as an average stay at home mom with 3 sons. Well actually, I’m not all that average, I’m a little eccentric and quirky, but definitely not psycho or weird. My point is this; there are a lot of helpful books out there that offer useful information about the grief process. A Seven-Year Goodbye is not one of those books, I am not qualified to give advice, and actually I wouldn’t want to do that; you will figure everything out on your own, in your unique way, when you are ready. This book is simply a personal account of the first seven years after my son died. I had an overwhelming drive to write my story in hopes that I might be able to offer support to others who have lost a child, and to their friends and family.
I want to be able to demystify child loss by talking about it. I don’t want to pretend that it didn’t happen. It happened. I will always hate that it happened. I miss my son terribly. And, at the same time, I’m OK. My life is good. Well, most of the time, anyway. No matter what, I want you to know that you can survive, and even thrive. Please don’t give up hope. If I can do it, there is a really good chance that you can too. Trust me. It’s crazy hard work. And it takes time. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones whose friends and family want to talk with you about your child who died, not only just in the beginning, but for years afterwards. Maybe you are the type that prefers to work this out on your own without interference. Or, quite possibly you feel isolated in your grief. Either way, I hope you find some comfort and connection in reading A Seven-Year Goodbye.
Death can’t erase what has already transpired: being pregnant, giving birth, loving and caring for my son Aaron for twenty years. Nothing can take that away from me. In life, and now in death, our relationship continues to evolve.
Thank you courageously joining me on this journey through child loss and beyond,